“My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, listening closely to wisdom and directing your heart to understanding; furthermore, if you call out to insight and lift your voice to understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it like hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and discover the knowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.” (CSB – Read the chapter)

There are some moments you don’t know are going to change your life. It’s not until you look back on them later that you realize just how profoundly different you are than you might have been because of them. Some moments that you think are going to change your life, wind up not mattering very much at all. Then there are the moments you know will change everything, and that’s exactly what they do. When I woke up 16 years ago, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was walking into one of those moments. I was right. Nothing has been the same since, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Today, my oldest son turns 16. Indulge me a few moments as I just get to be a proud dad.

I don’t remember a ton of details about the day itself other than that it was long. It was mostly spent waiting. And waiting. And waiting. We had signed his eviction paperwork, but he wasn’t terribly interested in moving out. Then the eviction enforcers got tied up having to perform several operations in a row before being able to give us their full attention. But the day wound up like it was always going to anyway, and just before 8:00 that Tuesday evening, the doctor handed us our little boy.

I was talking with a young man the other day whose wife had recently had their first child. He shared how he didn’t really want to have kids. Then the doctor stuck that bundle of joy in his arms and even after six months he was ready to have a bunch more. Fatherhood does something to a man that really isn’t achievable by other means. Like my conversation partner, I knew that there really wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do for this entirely helpless little boy if he needed it. It was my responsibility to protect him from the world until I could begin to gently introduce him to it, and that was exactly what I was going to do.

One of those truths that you know with greater and greater assurance the older you get is that time moves fast. It makes me feel old to say it, but the blink of an eye between that Tuesday evening and now is hard to fathom. I remember so many different things in snapshots, but it feels like they all run together like a growing up montage in a sitcom. Not nearly all of them were easy. Some of them weren’t particularly good. But a whole bunch more were than weren’t.

I think I’ve grown almost as much as he has along the way. I’ve probably learned more about myself than he has. He still has lots of time for that ahead of him. I’m slowly learning that it’s not only okay to be wrong, but for someone else to be right. I’m slowly…so slowly…developing the humility that the person who is right might be a whole lot younger than you are. I understand more than I used to why gentleness really is a good thing and just exactly what it means to be patient. I still tend to be more argumentative than I should be (mostly because I want to be right…a trait I have shared in spades with all three of my children).

I have learned that mothering and fathering are very different. There’s really no such thing as “parenting,” and anyone who tells you otherwise either hasn’t had kids or else is intentionally lying to you. Moms and dads are not interchangeable and kids need both. They deserve both. The cultural trend toward insisting that one or the other by itself will result in kids who are fine is a pernicious delusion that is robbing an entire generation from the kind of childhood experience every kid deserves. I happen to have married an incredible woman who is an equally incredible mother, and with his potential, the whole world is going to be grateful for it one day. And I am more convinced than I have ever been that God is good even when things are not.

The best part of all, though, is that I get to be the father of a son who is growing each day into the remarkable young man I always knew he was going to be. There were days we wondered if we would ever reach this stage, and there are still occasionally days when we still wonder if we’re ever going to get there, but the proud moments vastly outnumber the hard ones.

More than anything else, he has made his own commitment to follow Jesus. As a dad who happens to be a pastor as well, I can’t even begin to describe how much pride that generates in my heart. And he’s not just doing it because I told him to either. In fact, I’ve told him more than once that I want him to commit himself to what’s true, and have encouraged him to search for truth himself until he’s sure he has found it. He is day by day making his faith his own. He is engaging with the Scriptures and starting to have his own thoughts about them, reflecting some insights that could have only come from the Holy Spirit as is the case with all true ideas about them.

This has all resulted in his having a clear sense of right and wrong with a strong desire to bend toward the right. This does not by any stretch of the imagination mean that he’s perfect. He’s not. But he genuinely desires to do what is right. He wants to see the people around him do what is right too, which is one day going to contribute to his being a terrific leader. Sometimes this desire to see others do right drives his brothers crazy, but he really does love them, and he demonstrates that love in ways that are occasionally heartwarming.

He’s also really smart. He’s got a mind for detail (he got that from his mother), and can grasp just about any concept remarkably quickly. For those he can’t, he is slowly but surely learning the patience with himself and developing the determination to study until he does understand it. If you are a parent, you will appreciate how remarkable this is. He comes home from school most days and entirely on his own does his homework first before he does anything else. We were out of town this weekend for his birthday, and he had work to do. So, he diligently took it along and without prompting from us, worked on it to the extent he was able while we were away. He is in the most rigorous academic high school program our county offers and is excelling in it.

I could keep going for a whole lot longer telling you all the ways I’m proud of my son. He is courteous. He’s hard-working. He’s generous. He’s patient and courageous and kind. He’s compassionate and conscientious of the people around him. He is respectful to other adults. He is helpful at home. He keeps his room clean. He’s a great driver and is going to knock his test out of the park this afternoon. And when he’s not antagonizing his brothers or being driven crazy by them, he really does pretty well with them too.

All in all, we have the privilege every day of being the proud parents of a really great kid. A kid who’s not so little anymore. God’s blessings are rich and abundant, and we are grateful for them. Sixteen years of life with this particular blessing are a gift in and of themselves. We can’t wait for more, and to see what kind of adventures are coming next. If you see him today, wish him a happy birthday. We love you, son. Keep growing in wisdom and grace and in the knowledge of the Lord, and there’s no telling just what He will do through you in the years ahead.