Category: Digging in Deeper

Mother gently comforting a young boy seated beside her in a living room

Disciplining for Life

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“Disaster pursues sinners, but good rewards the righteous. A good man leaves an inheritance to his grandchildren, but the sinner’s wealth is stored up for the righteous. The uncultivated field of the poor yields abundant food, but without justice, it is swept away. The one who will not use the rod hates his son, but the one who loves him disciplines him diligently. A righteous person eats until he is satisfied, but the stomach of the wicked is empty.” (Proverbs‬ ‭13‬:‭21‬-‭25‬ ‭CSB‬‬ – Read the chapter)

Disciplining kids is tough. As a parent, you always wonder whether you are doing right. Were you tough enough to match the misdeed? Too tough? What exactly is an effective punishment or even merely a consequence in light of what they did? Is that even the right way to think about it. Of course, this is all much easier when it comes to other people’s kids. Then you always know with perfect clarity and discernment what they should have done. It’s just with your own kids that it becomes challenging for some reason. But what is clear is that you have to do it. Not disciplining them at all isn’t an option if you want them to turn out even remotely well. Solomon agrees. Let’s talk about this and a few other matters as we finish up chapter 13 today.

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Scholar signs parchment reading “PACTUM Anima Mea Felicitas Perpetua” while a darkly dressed man points beside him; “H. HAUST” appears below.

It’s Not What You Think

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Well, given that I’ve posted the previous two parts over the past couple of Fridays, I thought I would complete the set today. We’ve been taking a fresh look at a series on marriage I preached several years ago called Marriage Myths. In each part of the series we unpacked a different myth that our culture often tells us about marriage. Along the way we discovered why the truth is so much better than even the grandest fiction our culture can devise. In this final myth, we’re actually covering ground I covered more recently in the marriage series I preached just a few weeks ago. Marriage isn’t about happiness. Not primarily anyway. Let’s talk about what it’s really about instead, and why that’s better.

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Split scene labeled CONTINUITY and CHANGE, with signs reading CONTINUE (Established Route) and CHANGE (New Direction), and a traveler choosing between paths.

Staying Plugged In

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“The righteous hate lying, but the wicked bring disgust and shame. Righteousness guards people of integrity, but wickedness undermines the sinner. One person pretends to be rich but has nothing; another pretends to be poor but has abundant wealth. Riches are a ransom for a person’s life, but a poor person hears no threat. The light of the righteous shines brightly, but the lamp of the wicked is put out.” (Proverbs‬ ‭13‬:‭5‬-‭9‬ ‭CSB‬‬ – Read the chapter)

Several years ago, I heard a sermon about generosity. The preacher was talking about the myth that more money will make us happier. He shared some interesting survey data that showed there actually is a point below which more money seems to contribute to overall happiness, but it’s a lot lower than you’d think. This is an easy trap to fall into. We survey our lives, and see all the things we would or could do if we had more money, and conclude that if we had that money, we would feel more accomplished or secure or confident, and happiness would follow in the wake of all that. After eighteen years of ministry, I am in a very different financial place than when I started, yet I can say with confidence that I’m not any happier today specifically because of that. In this next batch of proverbs, Solomon makes this point in a really interesting way. Let’s dive right in.

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Bride and groom playfully pull a rope during their wedding ceremony while guests cheer.

Whole and Fair Aren’t the Same

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I’ve got another blast from the past for you today. This one is the next part of the marriage series we pulled back out of the mothballs last week. We live in a culture that highly values equality and fairness. That commitment plays itself out in just about every area of our lives including our marriages. Marriages are supposed to be equal relationships of equal partners, right? Well, it depends on what you mean by equal. In this message we are going to do a deep dive into equality, talk about the kind of equality that does and doesn’t exist in marriage, and set our sights on something entirely higher than that (and far more consistent with the teachings of the apostles) as the goal we should be striving for together. Let’s take a look.

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Woodworker relaxing in a rocking chair inside his workshop

Valuing the Fruits of Your Labors

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“Lying lips are detestable to the Lord, but faithful people are his delight. A shrewd person conceals knowledge, but a foolish heart publicizes stupidity. The diligent hand will rule, but laziness will lead to forced labor. Anxiety in a person’s heart weighs it down, but a good word cheers it up. A righteous person is careful in dealing with his neighbor, but the ways of the wicked lead them astray. A lazy hunter doesn’t roast his game, but to a diligent person, his wealth is precious. There is life in the path of righteousness, and in its path there is no death.” (Proverbs‬ ‭12‬:‭22‬-‭28‬ ‭CSB‬‬ – Read the chapter)

When we lived in Virginia, the first few years we were there we had wonderful neighbors. Bobby and Francis were about as good as neighbors come. They became like a set of bonus great-grandparents to our boys. We loved them and they loved us right back. Then they moved out and some other people moved in. They were the opposite in every way. The house and yard that had always been immaculate were trashed. They had noisy, aggressive dogs that were allowed to roam freely and would chase our kids, terrorizing them. They would let their kids eat outside, which usually meant they would eat in our yard and then leave their dishes just sitting there when they were done. They were awful as far as neighbors go. But they were our neighbors. We didn’t need a feud with the people living next door. That would have been bad for everybody. Solomon has some counsel for dealing with neighbors in this final set of proverbs in chapter 12 along with an assortment of other advice. Let’s take a look.

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