How Not to Comfort the Hurting

It’s hard to see someone you love go through a hard experience. That can be almost as hard – and sometimes even harder – than going through one yourself. What do you say in such a situation? How do you offer meaningful comfort and support and encouragement? The next stop on our survey of Job’s incredible story takes us into the conversation between Job and his friends that occupies the bulk of the narrative. To call it an interesting conversation is an understatement. Let’s dive into some of the details to see just how not to comfort the hurting and some clues as to the kind of posture from which we can find the hope and help we seek.

How Not to Comfort the Hurting

Have you ever been sure you were right…until you learned you weren’t? Join me for a quick trip down memory lane, if you would. It’s a bright and sunny Saturday morning. And it’s already hot. The boys were all still little which meant they were still all getting up really, really early. They were all still getting up really early no matter what time they had gone to bed the night before…and this particular night before had been late. There wasn’t much else going on this particular day. Instead, it was one of those days when it had already felt like a long day by 9:30. In order to give everyone a much needed change of scenery, we decided to go to the local pool. But because we had something going on later in the day, combined with the fact that it was swelteringly hot, we decided to make it a fairly brief trip. What makes that significant here is that it meant we weren’t going to let the boys take nearly as many pool toys as we normally did…much to their significant and expressed disappointment. 

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Digging in Deeper: Romans 12:19

“Friends, do not avenge yourselves; instead, leave room for God’s wrath, because it is written, ‘Vengeance belongs to me; I will repay,’ says the Lord.” (CSB – Read the chapter)

We live in the day of the dystopian future story. Not all that long ago, historically speaking, this wasn’t the case. There was a time when a popular view on the return of Christ described in Revelation was post-millennialism, which held that the world was just going to keep getting better (because we made it that way) until Jesus returned to reward us for all our good work. Then the 20th century happened. After two world wars and an ensuing half century of chaos mostly released on the world by the ideas of Darwin, Freud, and Marx, we gave up on a hopeful future, and our thinking turned dark. The Last of Us on HBO, is a great example of this. With the second season now behind us, let’s talk about how it was, and why the Gospel is better.

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Morning Musing: Romans 8:12-13

“So then, brothers and sisters, we are not obligated to the flesh to live according to the flesh, because if you live according to the flesh, you are going to die. But if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.” (CSB – Read the chapter)

Have you ever met somebody who somewhat slavishly sought to live up to the expectations of others? It almost didn’t matter who the other person was, if this person felt like she might have an expectation on her, she just about killed herself trying to meet it. In truth, though, the real expectation she was often trying to meet was to herself. In many such cases, this person had been shaped by a potent blend of personality and life experiences to have a need to please other people. This need, understandable as it might be, was making her sick. Obligations can be a heavy thing, especially when they aren’t good. Let’s talk about it.

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Morning Musing: Romans 8:10-11

“Now if Christ is in you, the body is dead because of sin, but the Spirit gives life because of righteousness. And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead lives in you, then he who raised Christ from the dead will also bring your mortal bodies to life through his Spirit who lives in you.” (CSB – Read the chapter)

When Jesus was talking with Nicodemus about the new life God was preparing to introduce to the world through the work He was going to do, He used the language of being born again. Nicodemus had a lot of trouble wrapping his mind around this, but Jesus wanted him to understand that the transformation this new life would work in a person would be like they were born entirely anew and starting life over again. In other words, it’s a pretty extreme transformation. Paul here uses another analogy to make the same point. This one is even more graphic. Let’s take a look.

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Morning Musing: Romans 8:9

“You, however, are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you.  If anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to him.” (CSB – Read the chapter)

How does someone know she is saved? What kind of assurance do we have that we are bound for God’s kingdom when this life ends and the next one begins? That is a very important question, and one whose answer has variously troubled or even eluded not a few people over the centuries. The promises of Christ and from the various New Testament authors are pretty amazing. They are definitely something we want access to if we can get it. So, again, how do we know we have it? Paul offers us an important piece of the puzzle here as he continues to unpack the new life available to followers of Jesus.

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