“So then, let us pursue what promotes peace and what builds up one another. Do not tear down God’s work because of food. Everything is clean, but it is wrong to make someone fall by what he eats. It is a good thing not to eat meat, or drink wine, or do anything that makes your brother or sister stumble.” (CSB – Read the chapter)

We live in a culture that has a well ingrained “me first“ mentality. We think about ourselves and what we need before we give much thought to anyone else. Now, not everyone falls prey to this. Some people naturally have a servant-minded personality. Others are raised to think about others first. But even this can become tainted by our me first mentality. They put others first because they’ve been trained to think their worth is found in what they can do for others, and so they serve others as a means of assuring their own value (at least in their own mind). Most of the time we are sufficiently isolated from each other that this isn’t such a huge deal. But in the church, this mindset can be debilitating. Let’s take a look at some counsel from Paul on dealing with this tendency.

At the beginning of chapter 14, Paul identifies the problem facing the church in Rome. There was a divide over whether or not a particular action was moral. Some thought that it was; some thought that it wasn’t. The particular issue in question was whether or not a follower of Jesus could eat meat that had been obtained through a pagan sacrificial offering, but that’s really immaterial as far as we are concerned. As we have talked about at length now, that’s only an example of a much more significant issue: how to get along in the church when we don’t agree about some non-essential issue.

And let’s define non-essential one more time just to make sure we are all on the same page. When I use that phrase I am talking about a behavior, action, or practice that the Scriptures don’t explicitly endorse or prohibit. The thing in question is not a clearly identified sin, and it doesn’t transgress any points of core doctrine (that is, you can fall on multiple sides of the issue and still land within the boundaries of orthodoxy). When it comes to matters like these, Paul’s implicit counsel throughout chapter 14 here has been to lean in the direction of more freedom in Christ than less.

Our freedom in Christ allows us to do all kinds of things. It is incredibly expansive. Yes, it has limits, but those limits are exceptionally broad. Now, if you insist on standing right on the borders of that freedom and looking longingly across to the other side, you are going to convince yourself that you don’t actually have very much freedom at all. The grass will look greener because that’s the way temptation works. But the truth is that there is a whole lot more freedom in Christ to live as we please than we imagine there to be.

Being right on a particular question of behavior, though, isn’t the most important thing. That’s something else Paul has insisted throughout this passage, and it is what he is really driving home in these three verses as we draw near the end of the chapter. Our freedom in Christ may allow us to do many things, but if we are in the company of some fellow members of the body who for some reason don’t understand or have convinced themselves that your shared freedom isn’t as permissive as you do, the love of Christ for your fellow brother or sister should lead you to voluntarily restrict your freedom for their sake.

Promoting peace and helping your brother or sister to grow in their faith is more important than fully exercising your freedom in Christ. “So then, let us pursue what promotes peace and what builds up one another.” You have all eternity to explore the vast boundaries of God’s kingdom. If staying in a more limited portion of it for the time being allows you to build up a weaker brother or sister in their faith, that’s a worthwhile trade off.

That is essentially what Jesus did for us. When He came to earth as a baby, He was stepping down from His throne in glory. He was the high king of heaven with all the luxuries and advantages of such a position available to Him and chose to leave all of that behind to walk around in human flesh for a season. He didn’t access His full divine abilities. He endured scorn and ridicule and ultimately death. He experienced hunger and thirst and pain and loneliness and betrayal. And He did that all for our sake, so that we might be brought into God’s kingdom with Him. Surely we can reduce our full embrace of His kingdom for the sake of our brothers and sisters in the church.

What if God is doing a work in them, growing them slowly but surely in their faith, and your insistence on having it your way sets them back and interrupts His work? You may be right on the matter, but if being right comes at the expense of their relationship with Jesus, then let it go. “Do not tear down God’s work because of food. Everything is clean, but it is wrong to make someone fall by what he eats.” In other words, what you want to do in enjoyment of your freedom in Christ may not be sinful to do, but in causing someone else harm in their faith journey by doing it, you are indeed sinning. The sin is not in the action but in the timing and location and intent. Your intent in that moment is putting yourself first and not living by love. You are both in the wrong then, but your wrong is the more grievous one.

Loving one another with the love of Christ means sometimes doing less than our freedom in God’s kingdom allows. Voluntarily limiting our freedom for the sake of another is always the right thing to do. “It is a good thing not to eat meat, or drink wine, or do anything that makes your brother or sister stumble.” Again, if Jesus could limit Himself for our sake, then we can follow His example for the sake of the people around us.

Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean that we put ourselves in the place of being constantly ruled over by the tyranny of the immaturity of our fellow members of the body of Christ. At the same time and to make the point yet again, if God keeps His promises, and if He has promised us a place in His eternal kingdom, then we have all of eternity to enjoy whatever it is we want to do, but which we are refraining from doing at the moment for the sake of this other person. What’s more, when that day comes, our brother or sister will be fully strengthened in Christ and will gladly enjoy whatever it is with us. Our momentary limitation of our freedom will win our brother or sister now, and we will have all eternity to make up for what we missed out on for a time in this life. We win twice.

If for the sake of a fellow member of the body of Christ you need to do less than you could without them, do it. Call them forward toward greater knowledge and maturity in their faith, but be gracious and patient in such calls as Jesus once was with you. Helping them grow at a sustainable pace is more important than getting what you want. Building up the body in love and peace with a spirit of graciousness and humility is always a worthwhile goal. Let’s pursue it.