“But because sexual immorality is so common, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman should have sexual relations with her own husband.” (CSB – Read the chapter)
This past Friday we started talking about sex. So far we have concluded two things. The first is that this is something we should be talking about. As followers of Jesus and given the state of our culture, we’ve got to be having a positive and productive conversation about how we should approach this touchy subject. The second thing was this: Sex is good and we should be enjoying it…but only in its proper context. It is a gift from God and like any other gift from God, if we use it as He intended, we will enjoy its rich fruits to their absolute fullest. The last question we asked was what we should be doing about this. Let’s talk about that now.
The first thing we should be doing about this as followers of Jesus is to doggedly pursue getting sex right in our own lives in every way we possibly can. If you are not married, stay away from it and look forward to the day when you can enjoy it to its fullest. If you are married, be active and intentional in enjoying it to its fullest. Let us show by our own behavior what it looks like to get this thing right. That doesn’t mean being graphic or voyeuristic. It means sharing of the fruits of our labors when the time is appropriate.
The fact is, though, that a great segment of our culture is getting it wrong; devastatingly, tragically, painfully wrong. They experience it only in one of its many sin-twisted forms and the results aren’t pretty.
Where we find this to be the case, while we can never condone the behavior, we must actively love and minister to its victims. When we encounter the fruits of sexual brokenness of some kind that is never a time for us to be judgmental. It’s not a time for us to hate on the victims. It’s not a time for us to gleefully point out their folly and leave them wallowing in it. That’s not what Jesus would have done. It’s not what He does.
Instead, Jesus would have and in fact does love them. He ministers to them. He comes along beside them, embraces them with His love, and gently helps them get back on their feet to start moving forward again toward the kingdom of God. So must we.
Our churches should be a place where victims of the brokenness of sin—whether their victimhood is foisted upon them by others or is self-inflicted—can come and be loved back to wholeness without guilt. There will be shame at first because all sin brings shame, but thanks to grace, our guilt is gone. And once we have been made clean in Christ, so will our shame.
Now, none of this is easy, but when we start off down this road, we are advancing the kingdom into some of the most closely guarded enemy territory. We should expect to be attacked and undermined in all kinds of ways. We will find enemies and obstacles both without and within. But this is kingdom work. And if our God leads us off down this path, we push forward with boldness, knowing that our efforts can not fail as long as they are rooted in what Jesus is already doing in His world.
So let’s get talking, let’s get practicing, and let’s get loving. There is only life ahead of us.