Here’s a blast from the past today while I’m away at a conference. Interestingly, the posts from this same day in 2020 and 2021 were both from Mark – the beginning and the end of the Gospel. For a day when I’m at a conference to focus in on learning and recharging, this post seemed rather appropriate. When Jesus wanted to recharge His batteries, there was one thing He turned to more than any other. Let’s take a look at what this was and what it means for us.
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For the last few weeks, we have been talking about marriage from the standpoint of the Scriptures. We have talked about the main problem in marriage (sin), what God created it for (to make us more like Him), as well as some practical things we can do to make it better (practice submission and aim for holiness). Today we are finishing up this series by talking about the thing that has been rather noticeably missing in our conversation thus far: love. The Beatles were wrong that love is all you need, but it’s really important all the same. Let’s talk about how we can get that right to the benefit of our marriages and all the other relationships in our life.
Love Always Looks Up
When I do premarital counseling with a couple, one of the things we always talk about toward the end of the journey is where their expectations for the marriage are versus what the reality of marriage will likely be. It’s not necessarily an encouraging conversation (although I try not to make it too much of a bummer), but it is often a helpful one. What we do is that I give them a list of statements describing various aspects of marriage and how they think it will be. The couples are then supposed to mark which of the statements they think are true, and which are false.
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“Folly is a rowdy woman; she is gullible and knows nothing. She sits by the doorway of her house, on a seat at the highest point of the city, calling to those who pass by, who go straight ahead on their paths: “Whoever is inexperienced, enter here! ” To the one who lacks sense, she says, “Stolen water is sweet, and bread eaten secretly is tasty! ” But he doesn’t know that the departed spirits are there, that her guests are in the depths of Sheol.” (Proverbs 9:13-18 CSB – Read the chapter)
We have talked many times along this journey already that wisdom is searching for us. She wants to be found. She positions herself in places where anyone who gives even the remotest amount of effort can discover her and gain her benefits. But wisdom isn’t the only one searching for us. Folly is too. She searches just as eagerly, hoping to ensnare us in her trap so that we suffer all her consequences. Of course, she doesn’t sell it that way. Let’s take a look at this concluding section of Proverbs’ challenging opening.
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“Consider it a great joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you experience various trials, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.” (James 1:2-4 CSB – Read the chapter)
I have a friend who is struggling right now. He got an unexpected encounter with mortality, and the whole experience rather understandably has left him shaken. He called me yesterday and asked for a word of encouragement. After spending a fair bit of time in prayer over the whole thing, these words came to mind and wouldn’t leave. So, in a bit of a departure from the norm, let’s talk about trials, patience, and the long and winding path to spiritual growth.
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Every marriage story our culture tells is always in pursuit of living happily ever after. The trouble is that when you actually get into a marriage, there are seasons when happiness seems pretty fleeting. Complicating this is that we live in a culture that prizes personal happiness above just about everything else. You can perhaps see how this might create some unique challenges for the development of a strong and healthy marriage culture in our nation. The apostle Paul spoke into this challenge almost 2,000 years ago with some counsel that is hard to receive, but if we will receive it with open hands, it has some truly transformational power. As we continue our series, The Journey of a Lifetime, let’s talk about what the real goal of marriage is and why understanding that matters so much.
Happiness Isn’t the Goal
Before 1969 divorce in the United States was hard to come by. That year, the Republican governor of California, Ronald Reagan, signed into a law a bill that allowed for the first time in the nation something called no-fault divorce. Prior to that, if a husband and wife wanted to get out of their marriage, they had to be able to demonstrate enough of some kind of justifiable harm such as abuse, infidelity, abandonment, or something else sufficiently severe along those lines to convince a judge to grant their request. No-fault divorce laws, on the other hand, allowed for couples to simply cite “irreconcilable differences” without having to furnish any kind of proof to back up their claims. In what ought to go down as the least surprising outcome of a public policy ever, within about ten years, the divorce rate in the country more than doubled, bringing with it all of the various social problems associated with divorce.
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