Tag: Relationships

Two hikers helping each other climb a rocky mountain ledge

Exercising Your Advantages

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“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourself. Everyone should look not to his own interests, but rather to the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:3-4 CSB – Read the chapter)

I haven’t watched a whole lot of TV content lately, and as a result, I haven’t been doing the media reviews I normally do on Fridays. Actually, of late, these Friday posts have been a bit of a grabbag. Some days, I’m not sure what I’m going to write until pretty late in the game. Today is no exception. But God is faithful and life manages to keep churning out things worth talking about. In any event, I was having a conversation about marriage last night. We were talking specifically about the roles husbands and wives play and should play in the relationship. One of the statements we were reacting to was this: “I think we will be happier if there is an even balance of power in the relationship.” In a culture that is obsessed with power and who has how much, that’s a pretty significant statement to consider because your reaction is going to have a pretty significant impact to how you pursue your relationship. Let’s talk about it for a few minutes.

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Happiness Isn’t the Goal

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Every marriage story our culture tells is always in pursuit of living happily ever after. The trouble is that when you actually get into a marriage, there are seasons when happiness seems pretty fleeting. Complicating this is that we live in a culture that prizes personal happiness above just about everything else. You can perhaps see how this might create some unique challenges for the development of a strong and healthy marriage culture in our nation. The apostle Paul spoke into this challenge almost 2,000 years ago with some counsel that is hard to receive, but if we will receive it with open hands, it has some truly transformational power. As we continue our series, The Journey of a Lifetime, let’s talk about what the real goal of marriage is and why understanding that matters so much.

Happiness Isn’t the Goal

Before 1969 divorce in the United States was hard to come by. That year, the Republican governor of California, Ronald Reagan, signed into a law a bill that allowed for the first time in the nation something called no-fault divorce. Prior to that, if a husband and wife wanted to get out of their marriage, they had to be able to demonstrate enough of some kind of justifiable harm such as abuse, infidelity, abandonment, or something else sufficiently severe along those lines to convince a judge to grant their request. No-fault divorce laws, on the other hand, allowed for couples to simply cite “irreconcilable differences” without having to furnish any kind of proof to back up their claims. In what ought to go down as the least surprising outcome of a public policy ever, within about ten years, the divorce rate in the country more than doubled, bringing with it all of the various social problems associated with divorce. 

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Dirty Words

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One of the most offensive ideas the church has introduced to the world (at least as far as our culture reckons things) is that wives should submit to their husbands in the marriage relationship. Submission is just a dirty word. It’s so demeaning. It’s depressing. It’s dehumanizing even. And yet we are called to just such a thing in the Scriptures again and again. Paul is explicit about it being a part of the marriage journey. In this third part of our series, The Journey of a Lifetime, we are going to dive into Paul’s command to see if we can better understand why he gave it, what he meant, and why it is perhaps not nearly as bad of a thing as we have been led to believe. Let’s get started.

Dirty Words

Have you ever said a dirty word? Maybe don’t raise your hand on that one. How about this: Have you ever wondered what exactly makes a word a “bad word”? Culture certainly plays a big role, but I don’t think that’s the only factor involved. There is a common theme running through all of these words we aren’t supposed to say in polite company. Generally speaking, a word that gets classified as a “bad word” is a coarse or vulgar way to refer to marital relations, bodily functions, or religious condemnation. There are, of course, more polite or sophisticated ways to refer to all of these things, but in a moment of anger or irritation or even simply because we don’t know a better word, we go with the more common versions…and get our mouths washed out with soap. 

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Person walking on forest trail with sunlight streaming through trees

Wisdom Protects Against Temptation and Chaos

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“It will rescue you from a forbidden woman, from a wayward woman with her flattering talk, who abandons the companion of her youth and forgets the covenant of her God; for her house sinks down to death and her ways to the land of the departed spirits. None return who go to her; none reach the paths of life. So follow the way of the good, and keep to the paths of the righteous.” (Proverbs 2:16-20 CSB – Read the chapter)

The other day, I found myself in a conversation with one of my boys about Tiger Woods. He had brought up the fact that Woods had been arrested recently and was telling me all the details of the story. I noted that Woods’ story is a sad one. Not all that long ago he had it all: he was the best and most popular golfer in the world, he was fabulously wealthy, he had a literal supermodel for a wife, he had two beautiful kids. What more could anyone want? And now, while he may still have lots of money, the rest is gone for good. Why? Because he didn’t have wisdom and so he stumbled down this particular path that wisdom helps us avoid.

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Morning Musing: Philippians 2:19-24

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“Now I hope in the Lord Jesus to send Timothy  to you soon so that I too may be encouraged by news about you. For I have no one else like-minded who will genuinely care about your interests; all seek their own interests, not those of Jesus Christ. But you know his proven character, because he has served with me in the gospel ministry like a son with a father. Therefore, I hope to send him as soon as I see how things go with me. I am confident in the Lord that I myself will also come soon.” (CSB – Read the chapter)

Ministry can be an intensely lonely affair. I don’t say that out of complaint because I don’t often feel it, but merely observation because it is a reality for so very many who have accepted God’s call to service, especially in a full time capacity. You are often surrounded by people, but because of the nature of the work and the nature of the world, it is often difficult to know who you can really trust to let in. Overcoming that takes effort and intentionality. Paul took a path that could have been very lonely indeed. But he did the work to avoid that trap and its dangers. At the end of chapter 2 here, he talks about two of the men he held dear. Let’s take a look at each in turn.

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