Tag: Relationships

God Loved First

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For the last four weeks, we have been having a conversation about marriage. More specifically, we have been having a conversation about how to get back to the basics in order to fix the foundation of our marriage so that we can build properly and in a way that will lead to long term happiness and success. Most of this has been rooted in addressing our own relationship with God. Today, as we wrap up this series, we are talking about what most people understand to be the foundation of marriage: love. If we are going to get marriage right, we have to get love right. Let’s talk about what that means and how to do it.

God Loved First

Did you have a good Valentine’s Day? Guys, did you treat her right? Did you at least put a little bit of effort into doing something special? Do you know why we have a Valentine’s Day? It’s so Hallmark and Russel’s Stover can make obscene amounts of money selling cards and chocolate. It’s all a capitalist, corporatist plot to conform us to the social box they want us to fit into so they can keep making money off of us. It’s a scam! Or maybe it’s just a cynical effort to depress us for not doing enough to love our partners or to make us feel bad for not having a Valentine in the first place. Ever wallow in one of those particular puddles of self-pity? They can be a tempting line of thought this time of year, but, no, that’s not why we have Valentine’s Day. We have Valentine’s Day because hundreds of years ago, there was a pastor in Rome named Valentinus. 

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How to Talk Right

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A whole lot of our relationships are tied up in communication. This is especially true for our marriages. If we want to have the kind of marriage we desire, communicating well is going to be an essential part of the process of getting there. And, if we have put in place negative communication patterns along the way, getting this right is going to require us to get back to the basics in order to fix our foundation before building properly moving forward. In this next part of our teaching series, Back to the Basics, we are talking about how to communicate well in marriage. Let’s dive in.

How to Talk Right

The largest cruise ship in the world right now is the Icon of the Seas from Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines. It’s big on a scale that’s hard to imagine. For starters, it’s as long as four football fields back-to-back-to-back. It weighs approximately 250,000 tons. It’s 20 decks high—that is, it’s as tall as a 20-story building. It can hold up to more than 10,000 people between passengers and crew. You could take the entirety of Oakboro on a cruise…times three…and still have room to spare. It’s so big that if you were to completely hollow it out, you could fit the Titanic inside of it with enough room to still play a football game at one end. In short: It’s enormous. Exceedingly enormous. So big, that you really can’t grasp it until and unless you’re standing in front of it looking up. Even then, it’s still hard to grasp. By comparison, though, the mechanism for steering it—the rudder—is remarkably small. Sure, the rudders of ships scale up with the size of the ship, but by comparison to the whole thing, it seems incredible that such a small thing can successfully steer something so large. 

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Naked

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While playing hide-and-seek is a fun game for kids, in the context of our lives, we want to be found. This is especially true in marriage. We want our marriages to be loving and intimate. We want to know and be known by our spouses. Intimacy, though, is tough. In this second part of our teaching series, Back to the Basics, we are talking about some of the things that can interrupt intimacy in our relationships and what we can do to get it restored. Thanks for reading and sharing.

Naked

I love playing hide-and-seek. I think I always have. I don’t play it as much anymore as I used to—my kids have mostly grown out of it—but it’s still a lot of fun. I remember one time playing with the boys at my folks’ house years ago. They have a loft area overlooking the living room. There’s a linen closet up there that’s really big. I got in there behind the blankets that were on the bottom, and they couldn’t find me. I had to finally start texting clues as to my location to Lisa so she could give them some hints. It was an awesome hiding place. But, the best part of the experience was being found, and the laughter that echoed through the house in that moment. When playing hide-and-seek, it’s always fun to find a killer spot. But if you stay hidden forever, eventually it gets boring. The real excitement of hide-and-seek is in being found. Deep down, we all really want to be found. 

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Digging in Deeper: Ephesians 4:31-32

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“Let all bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander be removed from you, along with all malice. And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.” (CSB – Read the chapter)

I remember a day when cartoons were just for kids and they were mostly silly. In the early 90s, though, cartoons began to mature some. They were still designed for kids, but they started telling more nuanced and complex stories. Actually, they started telling stories period. No longer could you just watch one episode and not wonder or worry about anything else. They became episodic. And they were good. Batman: The Animated Series and Superman: The Animated Series which later combined to become The Justice League and eventually Justice League: Unlimited, Spider-Man, X-Men, Gargoyles, and more like them changed the way a whole generation of kids – including me – watched and thought about cartoons. Today animation has become a vehicle for mature and in-depth storytelling that takes viewers on a grand adventure while exploring large and important themes. And I’m not just talking about anime which I have just never taken to liking. One of the more recent entries into the genre is the Netflix series, Arcane. Let’s talk about what works, what doesn’t, and why, once again, the Gospel lies at its heart.

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A Relational Pathway

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Last week, we started a brief conversation about doubt. Today, we’re going to finish it. Last week we established the fact that the source of our doubts matters. It matters whether they come from a place of faith or a place of skepticism. But knowing where our doubts come from isn’t the same as knowing what doubt is in the first place. In this second part of our journey, we are going to clarify that, and with the direction of the teachings of Jesus, talk about how to get from doubt to faith. Read on to find out how.

A Relational Pathway

Several years ago, I went through a season in which I did a fair amount of woodworking. Now, I’ve long enjoyed woodworking ever since I took a woodworking class in junior high. I don’t know that it’s the woodworking itself so much as doing projects that have very clear instructions and which I can follow carefully to reproduce the results of the model. I enjoy it for the same reason I enjoy making the metal models that are all over my office. The difference between building metal models and woodworking, though, is that anybody can build those models. Woodworking is a developed skill. Having the right tools, but not knowing how to use them well will result in a lot of really bad woodworking. 

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