“They will protect you from an evil woman, from the flattering tongue of a wayward woman. Don’t lust in your heart for her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyelashes. For a prostitute’s fee is only a loaf of bread, but the wife of another man goes after a precious life. Can a man embrace fire and his clothes not be burned? Can a man walk on burning coals without scorching his feet? So it is with the one who sleeps with another man’s wife; no one who touches her will go unpunished. People don’t despise the thief if he steals to satisfy himself when he is hungry. Still, if caught, he must pay seven times as much; he must give up all the wealth in his house. The one who commits adultery lacks sense; whoever does so destroys himself. He will get a beating and dishonor, and his disgrace will never be removed. For jealousy enrages a husband, and he will show no mercy when he takes revenge. He will not be appeased by anything or be persuaded by lavish bribes.” (Proverbs‬ ‭6‬:‭24‬-‭35‬ ‭CSB‬‬ – Read the chapter)

Our culture is pretty approving of sex in just about any circumstance. Relationships today are just assumed to involve physical intimacy. No one even imagines two people being in a relationship and not having sex. There is one situation, however, that in spite of our actively liberalizing views and tolerances on the subject, we still largely do not support. This is the case even in spite of a determined effort by some parts of our culture to normalize it. I’m talking about cheating. That doesn’t mean it isn’t still terribly common, but we don’t like it. Ingrained godly wisdom helps to explain why. Let’s talk about it.

Let it sit on you for a second that of all the counsel Solomon could have given after yesterday’s setup this is where he went. That is not insignificant. He considered sexual sin to be such an enormous problem that it warranted his attention here over and above anything else that might have otherwise occupied it. There is, of course, an irony here given how sexual temptation played roll in derailing his own life in the end, but we don’t know that he was ever unfaithful to any of his 300 wives and 700 concubines, so maybe he did take his own advice. He never cheated with another man’s wife, he simply married all of them so there weren’t any other men’s wives.

That all being said, his counsel here is still sobering and sound. Sexual sin still draws in its victims by the thousands and drowns them all in unrighteousness. And let’s clear something up right out of the gate here: Solomon’s example is very much focused on men and the temptation delivered by ungodly women in its language. We could perhaps make an argument that the reason for this is that men are more susceptible to sexual sin than women are, but while there is a case to be made that men are drawn to and driven by sex more than women (albeit not all that strong of a case), this is by no means a one-sided issue. Solomon used the language he did because of the culture of his day. The temptation into sexual sin is one that afflicts men and women equally and is just as destructive to both of their lives. In other words, feel free to reverse the gendered language Solomon uses here back and forth as you please. You won’t be wrong in either case.

Now to Solomon’s actual warning here. He tells us that the good advice of our fathers and mothers (we explored how to think about all of that yesterday) “will protect you from an evil woman, from the flattering tongue of a wayward woman.” He is talking about the woman (or the man) who would seek to draw you into sexual sin. This takes all sorts of different forms, and some of the ones we face today would have been unimaginable to Solomon. It is physical, of course, in the form of an actual person who tempts you away from what is right. It is digital in the vast ocean of pornography available at our fingertips today. On top of this, the AI revolution has opened up a terrifying new avenue of temptation. And while you might try to convince yourself that isn’t the same because it doesn’t involve actual people being abused, the temptation is still real and the damage it can cause is still just as destructive.

His advice in the face of all of this is simple: “Don’t lust in your heart for her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyelashes.” Sexual sin is designed to be alluring. Its whole point is to draw you in. If it was gross or offensive, it wouldn’t be able to do that as well. Resist that. The best way to resist that, of course, is to remove and otherwise block possible sources of it in your life so that you don’t encounter it in the first place. Lock down your phone and computer. Make use of accountability software. There’s plenty of it out there. Keep open lines of communication with a trusted accountability partner or group. And keep a constant check on your own heart.

The truth here is that you can’t fight this battle on your own. If you try, you will fail. No matter how you try to justify keeping it to yourself, you will be lying to yourself. If you are caught in this particular web, get help. You need it.

This path will seem good at the start. It will seem insignificant. It will seem like it’s not really going to cost you much of anything. It’s just a little thing. “For a prostitute’s fee is only a loaf of bread, but the wife of another man goes after a precious life. Can a man embrace fire and his clothes not be burned? Can a man walk on burning coals without scorching his feet? So it is with the one who sleeps with another man’s wife; no one who touches her will go unpunished.” There will be consequences if you walk this path. You may not have experienced them yet, but they will come. Get off while you still can.

There are a number of sins that the people around us will be pretty understanding about. “People don’t despise the thief if he steals to satisfy himself when he is hungry.” We live in a day today when some people positively justify theft and excuse or even lionize it depending on its ascribed purpose. But that doesn’t change the fact that it will still carry consequences when the state is functioning like it should. “Still, if caught, he must pay seven times as much; he must give up all the wealth in his house.”

Sexual sin isn’t like this. It is never a foregone conclusion. It is never a real need that needs to be satisfied. Ever. The world will try to convince you that it is; you will try to convince yourself that it is, but you will be wrong. The world will be lying. You didn’t need that; you weren’t in love; you were lusting and simply wanted it. “The one who commits adultery lacks sense; whoever does so destroys himself. He will get a beating and dishonor, and his disgrace will never be removed. For jealousy enrages a husband, and he will show no mercy when he takes revenge. He will not be appeased by anything or be persuaded by lavish bribes.” You will have to pay for this crime. Again, it’s not a matter of whether but only when. Don’t believe the lies otherwise.

If this all sounds serious, that’s because it is. So, take it seriously. Don’t walk this path, and if you are on it, get off of it. Shine light in the dark places because light drives the dark away. It won’t be easy. There may be more pain ahead of you because of the sin behind you, but life lies at the end of that path. Always go toward the life.