“A fool’s way is right in his own eyes, but whoever listens to counsel is wise. A fool’s displeasure is known at once, but whoever ignores an insult is sensible. Whoever speaks the truth declares what is right, but a false witness speaks deceit. There is one who speaks rashly, like a piercing sword; but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue, only a moment. Deceit is in the hearts of those who plot evil, but those who promote peace have joy. No disaster overcomes the righteous, but the wicked are full of misery.” (Proverbs‬ ‭12‬:‭15‬-‭21‬ ‭CSB‬‬ – Read the chapter)

Have you ever known someone who didn’t seem to have much of a filter? Whatever came to mind is what came out of their mouth. Sometimes those kinds of folks can be entertaining to be around—at least when you aren’t in their verbal crosshairs. But more often than not they’ll just make you cringe at best. Although there have been some cultural voices occasionally that have encouraged people to give voice to all of their thoughts and counseled that holding back isn’t good for us, but mostly they are wrong at the very least. Solomon would agree. This next batch of proverbs includes several that counsel bringing a bit more discretion to our words. Let’s dive in.

I play a mobile game where you have to level up and rank up various characters to overcome different challenges. There are more than 300 characters and all of them have different strengths and weaknesses. The goal is to have as many different characters ranked up as possible so that you are prepared for whatever challenge the gamemakers might throw your way. Just yesterday I was able to rank one up to nearly the top level available. The trouble was that while I had amassed the resources to do that, I couldn’t decide which one out of the nearly 80 options available to me. I almost didn’t do it because I couldn’t make a decision. I was plagued by indecision.

Indecision like that can be paralyzing, especially in situations that are more serious than which video game character to rank up, a choice that has literally zero consequences attached to it. It is a good thing to have some confidence in the decisions you are making. But there’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance. Making a decision confidently is not the same thing I brazenly insisting you are right without seeking any kind of counsel. This is especially true when it comes to big and consequential decisions. The person who says, “I’m right, now get out of my way,” is not confident. He’s a fool.

Solomon agrees. “A fool’s way is right in his own eyes, but whoever listens to counsel is wise.” Everyone can convince themselves that what they most want to do is the best decision they can make. Only a wise person seeks and heeds sound counsel before making big decisions. Don’t let yourself get paralyzed by indecision, but don’t fall into the fool’s trap of thinking you are always right about everything either. Both paths are worth avoiding in favor of the middle road of humility and wisdom.

“A fool’s displeasure is known at once, but whoever ignores an insult is sensible.” Just as much as a fool always thinks he’s right, he always responds immediately to people he thinks are wrong. This goes double for when their perceived wrong offends him somehow. I once had a book that offered kids a whole bunch of snarky comebacks to stupid questions. I got it right about the age when I went through my irritating-know-it-all stage. I’m sure I was a delight for my parents in that season.

It’s okay to be upset with other people or about the situation you are in. But it’s not often wise to express that displeasure in the moment. It’s not necessarily good to hold it all in, but very often the first retort that comes to mind when you are irritated is the one you want to keep safely on the inside. Learning to let things go is a discipline worth developing. It will help you avoid creating unnecessary trouble for yourself and making bad situations worse. It is often the case that the best response in a tense moment is no response. If you have to give a response, lean toward a gracious response that helps diffuse the situation rather than pouring gasoline on an already burning fire.

“Whoever speaks the truth declares what is right, but a false witness speaks deceit.” Now, this is a proverb that needs to be contrasted carefully with the last one. The fool making his displeasure known at once can easily justify his sharp tongue by protesting that he’s simply speaking the truth rather than deceit. But there’s a difference between speaking truth and being an obnoxious jerk just because you got your pride wounded a bit by some situation.

It is always good to tell the truth. Always. And this proverb is pointing specifically to legal situations where a false testimony could result in a gross miscarriage of justice. God has little patience of tolerance for dishonesty in those kinds of situations. But it is also always good to speak the truth in love. When the truth is used as a weapon to bash in the heads of our enemies, that’s really no better than being false or deceptive. The nature of the damage may be different, but damage done is damage done all the same. Speaking of the importance of helpful words…

“There is one who speaks rashly, like a piercing sword; but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” There is a trend today of people “just telling it like it is.” This is often done on social media, but it is more frequently happening in person as digital courage is increasingly translating itself into interpersonal brashness. If your words are going to wound someone else, you probably shouldn’t let them out. Even if your words happen to be true, the way you deliver them matters. A hard truth shared with the intention of wounding the other person isn’t any more helpful than a lie that allows them to continue down a foolish path that will end up causing them pain.

Sometimes hard truths have to be shared out of love and genuine concern for the other person. “But the tongue of the wise brings healing.” You can walk someone gently to the frame of truth and uncover the picture waiting there for them to see with graciousness and compassion. When this is done well, you will be the one to help get them onto a better path that will lead to their healing and, eventually, their flourishing. That’s a better approach than merely dropping a truth bomb and walking away as your victim then has to deal with the damage you’ve caused.

“Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue, only a moment.” This one is hard because a lie spoken by the wrong person can worm its way into our hearts and minds and stick with us long after they’ve forgotten they ever said it. I don’t think Solomon is overlooking that fact here. I think his point lies more in this direction. All lies will eventually be revealed for what they are. They will be corrected by reality and brought to an end. But truth endures. If you commit yourself to speaking what’s true with wisdom and graciousness, your words will last, your impact will endure, long after those committed to lies and deceptions have been silenced by the world.

“Deceit is in the hearts of those who plot evil, but those who promote peace have joy.” The first part of this one is interesting. Why would deceit be in the hearts of those who plot evil? Because they don’t want others to know what they are plotting. They don’t want to know because they want to be able to get away with it. They know they shouldn’t be doing it. They know they have to hide what they are doing so they aren’t judged by others for their evil actions.

Sin brings shame. It makes us want to hide. If you are plotting evil – and for the sake of better understanding what Solomon is getting at here, replace “evil” with “sin” – you are almost assuredly trying to hide what you are doing from the people around you. If you are doing something in secret that you don’t want others to know about, there’s a pretty good chance you shouldn’t be doing that thing. Before you plan or do something, ask yourself if you are okay with your spouse or your parents knowing you are doing it. If the answer is no, don’t do it. You are doing something that is going to sow chaos or discord among the people around you, robbing you of any and all joy you might experience. Pursue and promote peace instead and your joy will be constantly refreshed and renewed.

“No disaster overcomes the righteous, but the wicked are full of misery.” Notice what this does not say. It does not say no disaster arrives on the doorstep of the righteous. It simply says that no disaster overcomes them. Trouble will come to your life at some point whether you are following Jesus faithfully or not. That’s the price of living in a world broken by sin. You are going to experience the terrible impact of sin at some point and in some way. In fact, Jesus guaranteed us that following Him faithfully will likely bring more of it than less because the world hates Him and His followers.

But while the wicked – those who try to weather life’s troubles on their own rather than with the help and strength of Christ – are just made miserable by the experience of trouble, those who are safely in Christ are not overcome by it. It may blow against them with all the fury it can muster, but when they – when we – are rooted in Christ, that rock will not be moved and we will stand securely with Him. Life’s storms are going to come no matter who you are. It is better to face them with the one who told the storm to stop and it listened by your side.