“Listen, sons, to a father’s discipline, and pay attention so that you may gain understanding, for I am giving you good instruction. Don’t abandon my teaching. When I was a son with my father, tender and precious to my mother, he taught me and said, ‘Your heart must hold on to my words. Keep my commands and live. Get wisdom, get understanding; don’t forget or turn away from the words from my mouth. Don’t abandon wisdom, and she will watch over you; love her, and she will guard you. Wisdom is supreme—so get wisdom. And whatever else you get, get understanding. Cherish her, and she will exalt you; if you embrace her, she will honor you. She will place a garland of favor on your head; she will give you a crown of beauty.’”
‭‭(Proverbs‬ ‭4‬:‭1‬-‭9‬ ‭CSB‬‬ – Read the chapter)

The fourth of God’s ten words to the Israelites that were to serve as the foundation for all their interactions with Him was a call to honor their fathers and mothers. As Paul would later point out, this was the first command with a promise: that they would enjoy a long and fruitful life. The obvious question this command begs is how—how do we honor our moms and dads? Well, one good way is to show them the respect of listening to their counsel. Let’s do a little exercise in that together today as we get into chapter four and the fourth time Solomon has called his children to listen carefully.

For all the words we see here, there is one idea that is being advanced. Keeping with our mini theme of fours it consists of four words: get wisdom; get understanding. Solomon is passionately exhorting us to do whatever we can to gain the ability to know what the most God-honoring path is and why that is the most God-honoring path. There really isn’t anything more significant in life than this.

This is something every good parent wants for their children. This is what all of their counsel is aimed at—to help their children live the best lives they possibly can. Now, no, not every parent understands what this is in the same terms, and, yes, there are some unfortunate and tragic exceptions to this. Sometimes parents give into the darker, sinful impulses in their heart and work against the success of their children instead of for it. As we have said over and over on this journey already, proverbs are not guarantees. But in most cases, this is what parents what: for their children to grow in grace and godliness and wisdom.

So, “listen, sons, to a father’s discipline, and pay attention so that you may gain understanding, for I am giving you good instruction. Don’t abandon my teaching.” And, “get wisdom, get understanding; don’t forget or turn away from the words of from my mouth.” And, “wisdom is supreme—so get wisdom. And whatever else you get, get understanding.” If you embrace wisdom—the kind of wisdom that you parents are seeking very intentionally to pass on to you—”she will exalt you;” “she will honor you;” “she will place a garland of favor on your head;” “she will give you a crown of beauty.”

Wisdom will make your life better by making you better at life. Whatever you can do to get it, do that. It will be worth the work. Okay, but what does getting wisdom require? How do we actually do it? Seeing Solomon exhort us in such strong terms here toward that end is one thing. Actually growing in wisdom is another entirely. So, how do we do it?

Well, let’s think about what we have seen and heard already. Wisdom starts with knowledge of the Lord. The God revealed in the pages of the Scriptures is the source of all wisdom. If we don’t know Him, we might occasionally grab onto some true ideas that will indeed make our lives better and make our communities better if we can see them unleashed more broadly, but real wisdom will escape us. If you want to grow in wisdom, the first thing you need to do is to pursue a relationship with Jesus. And, of course, the only place we are going to gain the knowledge we need to do that is through the Scriptures. If you want to grow in wisdom, then, get into the Scriptures consistently and intentionally.

Another thing growing wisdom requires is help. You aren’t going to do it on your own. God never designed the process to work like that. Wisdom comes from properly evaluated experience, but in order to properly evaluate that experience, you need people who can help guide you through that evaluation, who can help you ask the right questions and see things through the right lens. If you want to grow in wisdom, you need to surround yourself with people who have themselves gained godly wisdom. Of course, the best place to experience that is in a church community. If you want to grow in wisdom, then, you need to be connected to a church.

Speaking of properly evaluated experience, while the help from other people will be invaluable in accomplishing that goal, God’s perspective on the whole thing matters too. And how do we go about getting God’s perspective on our circumstances? Well, Scripture and through the church community are two of the most important places to seek it, but there’s one that is still missing from the equation. Prayer. If you want to grow in wisdom, you need to be intentional and diligent in pursuing a relationship with God through prayer. When you combine this with your engagement with the Scriptures, He will help you make more and more sense of the world around you. More than that, He will help you come to trust Him more and more fully even in the times when it just doesn’t make sense.

One last thing. If you want to grow in wisdom, you need to be willing to accept that you don’t already know everything. That means growing in humility. Wisdom requires us to be honest about who God is and who we are in light of that. If we think we are wisdom’s source, that our perspective on our experiences is enough for wisdom to flourish, then we will be open to the terrible idea from our culture that we only need to listen to our heart to know the best way to go. What rubbish! The heart is deceitful above all else and a world of evil. Who can understand it? If we are going to grow in wisdom, humility is essential.

There’s more to growing in wisdom than just these things, but this is a good place to start. None of this is necessarily easy. It takes effort and sometimes a lot of it. There will be setbacks and even pushback from the world around us. But if we will commit to this path and courageously walk it even when it gets hard, we will yet enjoy the sweet fruits of wisdom’s harvest.