“And now, sons, listen to me; those who keep my ways are happy. Listen to instruction and be wise; don’t ignore it. Anyone who listens to me is happy, watching at my doors every day, waiting by the posts of my doorway. For the one who finds me finds life and obtains favor from the Lord, but the one who misses me harms himself; all who hate me love death.” (Proverbs‬ ‭8‬:‭32‬-‭36‬ ‭CSB‬‬ – Read the chapter)

We live in a world that constantly tells us we should be happy. All the time. If there is something about our circumstances that is making us not happy, we should change them, or at least get out of them. Happiness is always the goal. I even have a throw pillow somewhere in my house that says so. With little bees on it. Get it? All of this happiness is supposed to lead to our best life now. It even has a hashtag. The trouble is, the methods our culture offers to get us to that goal rarely work for long. Solomon offers us a way to get there that is much more reliable. Let’s talk about it.

This is a major idea from the sermon that I will preach this coming Sunday. When we pursue happiness as our first goal, we will typically wind up falling short and losing a whole bunch of other good things along the way. It is when we pursue the character of Christ that happiness will come along for the ride with us. The reason for this is simple. There are things we pursue that we think will make us happy in a given moment, but which in the long run will leave us miserable.

It makes me happy, for instance, to play and win a video game. But if I elevated that happiness to a prime priority in my life, then I will necessarily not be giving proper attention to a number of other things that would increase my happiness more if I invested in them and in which falling short will be a net detraction from my overall happiness. The same thing goes for you. There are things in your life that make you happy but do so at the expense of relationships or responsibilities you have.

Speaking of that, investing in relationships often involves a lot of work that does not make us happy in a given moment. Learning to live with another person and to love them fully and truly the way God loves them involves a lot of moments of unhappiness. Would that this weren’t the case, but thanks to sin in the world it very much is. But when we take courage and do the work anyway, understanding that we aren’t always going to feel it, we will come out much happier in the end than we otherwise would.

Another thing worth investing in that won’t always make us happy in the moment, but which will lead to greater happiness overall is just what Solomon says here. Still speaking with the voice of wisdom, Solomon says, “And now, sons [and daughters], listen to me; those who keep my ways are happy.” When we endeavor to walk in the ways of wisdom, happiness is going to be the result of those efforts.

Seeing why this is shouldn’t be all that hard. Think back over all the ways of wisdom we have talked about since we started this journey. Wisdom involves treating other people well. It involves making good decisions that will honor God and preserve relationships with others. It involves being careful with money and working hard at whatever it is we do. It involves not getting ourselves entangled in sexual sin in any way, shape, or form. It involves being gracious and gentle with our words in all situations. There’s more, but if we get just those few things right in our lives we just about won’t be able to help being happy much of the time. Those kinds of investments will bear the fruit of happiness in a sustainable, long-term way.

But getting to this point means that we’ve got to be willing to listen to counsel that isn’t first our own. We have to discipline ourselves to live within limits. One of the great lies of our culture is that happiness is found when we free ourselves from as many restraints as we possibly can so that we can live to the fullest satisfaction possible of all of our desires. Life without limits is the way to experience happiness, or so says our culture. That’s nonsense.

The truth is that it is precisely those people who live their lives with the fewest limits who are the unhappiest. They are the ones who get themselves into trouble they can’t get out of on their own. They are the ones who live with a string of broken relationships. They are the ones who get stuck in the prison of pursuing situational happiness because they can’t access the kind of long-term, stable happiness that wisdom and living within wise limits gives us access to.

Solomon experienced both sides of this himself, so he knows what he’s talking about when he says, “Listen to instruction and be wise; don’t ignore it. Anyone who listens to me is happy, watching at my doors every day, waiting by the posts of my doorway.” You and I don’t know the best way to go on our own. Sin distorts our processes of thinking and reasoning. Following our hearts is the worst possible path to take unless and until our hearts have been transformed by the Holy Spirit through the grace of God in Christ Jesus. Absent that, listening to instruction is always going to be the path to the greatest happiness.

The good news here is that when we pursue wisdom like this, we will find it. Solomon has made that abundantly clear throughout this opening section. Wisdom is searching for us. Wisdom is constantly making itself available for us to discover. It is waiting with eagerness for us to embrace it and experience all the benefits it stands ready to deliver to our lives. This is a journey we can complete with God’s ready help. We simply have to take it.

And take it we must because this isn’t just a matter of personal convenience. This is a matter of much greater significance than that. This pursuit of wisdom that bears the fruit of happiness in our lives is a matter of life and death itself. “For the one who finds me finds life and obtains favor from the Lord, but the one who misses me harms himself; all who hate me love death.”

That may not be physical death right away, though that will eventually come. But there are many other ways to love death. There is relational death, financial death, the death of hope and meaning and purpose. When we reject wisdom and the path to life it offers, the alternative is only death in one form or fashion. And there’s no happiness to be found there. But a life spent in pursuit of wisdom will yield the fruit of happiness even when circumstances don’t seem to allow for it.

I participated in a funeral service yesterday. The gentleman who passed was in his mid-80s, but his death was a shock to his family because he had previously been in great shape. This man had spent his life loving people, loving his family, and loving the Lord. His family was grieving, of course, but as they gathered to eat and fellowship after the service, there was nothing but the sound of life and joy in the room. The fruit of his lifetime pursuit of wisdom was a great deal of happiness in his wake; a parting gift to his family that will give them strength through the journey of grief that yet lies ahead of them.

If you want happiness, pursue wisdom. You’ll find it there truest and best.