“Don’t plan any harm against your neighbor, for he trusts you and lives near you. Don’t accuse anyone without cause, when he has done you no harm. Don’t envy a violent man or choose any of his ways; for the devious are detestable to the Lord, but he is a friend to the upright.”
‭‭(Proverbs‬ ‭3‬:‭29‬-‭32‬ ‭CSB‬‬ – Read the chapter)

We live in a culture that is increasingly comfortable with violence. We have a growing appetite for violent content in the series and movies we watch. And not just violence, but graphic, gratuitous, even glorified violence. After marinating in this kind of excess for years, it really shouldn’t surprise us that it is working itself out in real life more and more often. We need to learn the wisdom of what Solomon says right here. Let’s take a look.

A couple of weeks ago, a young man named Karmelo Anthony was sentenced to a long prison sentence for murdering another young man named Austin Metcalf. The story is a tragedy all around, made all the more so by a chorus of irresponsible commentators who seem only capable of processing the events through a racial lens. Anthony, you see, is a black teenager, and Metcalf a white one.

The basic facts of the situation are pretty well known if you have been following the news at all. It all happened at a track meet. Anthony, a member of a different team, was in the tent area of Metcalf’s team. After having been asked to leave multiple times, leaving and coming back with a bit of teenage bravado, Metcalf spoke up telling him to leave. Anthony challenged him in a typical macho fashion. “Touch me and see what happens.” Metcalf responded in kind by pushing him. Anthony then responded by pulling a knife out of his bag and stabbing Metcalf in the heart. He succumbed to his wound very quickly, and the rest is history.

The case is a tragedy on all fronts. Metcalf’s death is obviously the chief tragedy. But the fact that Anthony’s life has been completely upended and stifled when it was just getting started and all because of a split second terrible decision is also a tragedy. Metcalf’s family will grieve his loss for the rest of their lives. Anthony’s family will now be forced to gradually lose their connection with their son or else reorient their entire lives around making regular visits to the prison he will spend his lengthy sentence.

Both families will struggle with bitterness and the temptation toward unforgiveness, and if they don’t overcome those feelings, this poison will cause much pain in their lives going forward. Anthony now faces the exceedingly difficult environment of prison for the next few decades. The friends of Metcalf will be tempted toward racist thoughts and beliefs since it was a black man who took his life. Anthony’s friends will be tempted toward racist thoughts and beliefs as they listen to racist commentator insist that the system merely favored this outcome because Metcalf was white.

I’m not interested here in analyzing the racial element of this case. I think that’s more of a symptom of where our culture is rather than the actual facts of the case. Rather, what has my attention this morning is a different question: I wonder how much violence these two young men imbibed while they were growing up. What kinds of video games did they play or musical influences did they follow or social media posts did they track or movies and TV shows did they watch that led them to think this kind of interaction was normal. What about Anthony’s upbringing led him to conclude it was a good idea to bring a knife to the track meet at all. What influences in Metcalf’s life led him to believe that being “tough” in response to Anthony’s provocations was the best response?

Now, surely teenage boys have interacted with each other like these two did for as long as there have been teenage boys without any loss of life or even physical injury. Maybe this was just a one-off tragedy. But in the midst of a culture that is witnessing a growing trend of young people using violence and destruction as a means of self-expression, where cultural influencers speak approvingly of violence as a legitimate form of protest, where an entire cult-following has arisen around a young man who murdered a healthcare company CEO in premeditated cold blood the thought that one young man went through the mental calculus and concluded that bringing a knife to an event and then using that knife to stab another young man in the heart when sufficiently provoked doesn’t seem nearly as far-fetched of an idea as it should be.

Solomon’s counsel on violence and aggressive action here is as clear as it could be. “Don’t plan any harm against your neighbor, for he trusts you and lives near you.” We should not limit “neighbor” here only to the person who lives next door. This is talking about other people in the community. Healthy communities operate on a basic trust of one another. We trust that our neighbors have our best intentions in mind, or at least that they don’t have any ill intentions for us. When that breaks down, the entire community suffers. Living in a community where you know that your neighbor is plotting how to steal from you or cause you harm in some harm warps the human psyche in ways that are profoundly tragic. It makes Solomon’s next statement harder to justify.

“Don’t accuse anyone without cause, when he has done you no harm.” Why would we do this kind of a thing? Because we grow cynical from exposure to violence in all of its various forms. We see stories of crimes on an endless loop which causes us to first get cautious, then distrustful of the people around us. And when that trust breaks down, the community itself follows soon after. It takes courage and intentionality and a fierce commitment to the love of Christ to overcome such a breakdown when it has occurred. Yet when such courageous followers of Jesus put it into action, whole communities have been transformed by it.

In order to bring godly order back out of all of this chaos, though, we have to stop the flow of the poison that is weakening our cultural foundations. “Don’t envy a violent man or choose any of his ways; for the devious are detestable to the Lord, but he is a friend to the upright.” Think for a second about how many different voices in our culture don’t merely acknowledge violence but openly celebrate it. Think about the popular musical voices that glorify a culture of violence and the demeaning of women. Think about the social media influencers who speak approvingly of using violence to achieve personal or even public policy goals.

In a violent world, sometimes godly violence is a necessary response to ungodly violence in order to put a stop to it. But such a protective action should never be celebrated. It should be respected but mourned for its necessity. People who use and celebrate violence to achieve their personal ends will ultimately find themselves on the opposite side of God and left out of His kingdom. It will be those who choose the path of peace even sometimes in the face of the violence of their opponents who will be able to call Him friend.

When you see violence around you, don’t engage with it. When you see people celebrating violence, speak against it. Point instead to the peace of God’s kingdom. Highlight the strength of kindness and the even greater strength of gentleness. Celebrate godly meekness and compassion. Talk up those virtues in both their feminine but also masculine forms. Rejoice and invite others to join you in the wisdom of restraint.

Your doing this may not change the world, but it could change the life of the person nearest you. That’s a good place to start.